Stop managing your time. Start managing your energy instead! 🔴🟡🟢

If you have a full calendar or often feel drained at the evening, try these methods to recharge your body battery step-by-step.

We’ve all been there: A busy calendar that is full from morning to evening with barely a moment to just breathe. Your colleagues just send you invitations to that one meeting series where just one person is talking — and you accept. Oh and then there is Friends, Family, Hobbies and Me-Time (if you still have any left).

Most people assume that they have an infinite amount of energy and mental capacity. However if you continue down this road you might find out soon enough that your energy has indeed a limit, ending up with high levels of stress, depression and even burn-out. Always deeply depleting your inner battery can damage it, lowering your capacity even further.

Trust me, I learned that the hard way. In this article, I am going to show you how to

• Take back control of your calendar and foster a sense of agency

• Prioritize yourself

• Set healthy boundaries by saying NO

• Declutter your calendar using the Traffic Light System

• Factor in your personal Body Battery

• Manage your sleep effectively

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Challenges with managing your calendar

You might find yourself in a situation where

• you lost your agency and now you are sitting on the passenger seat while others determine the things in your calendar

• it is hard to prioritize and to see what really matters

• you have difficulties planning for recovery time

• the energy consumption of your appointments is invisible

• a lack of oversight leads to overplanning and deep exhaustion

and finally this thought:

There is too much day left for too little energy.

The available energy you have can fluctuate each day, so you need to take care not to exhaust yourself permanently.

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Make yourself a priority

As someone who has experienced all of this, I have come up with a system and a set up principles that I am willing to share with you. Every person is different, so feel free to adapt to your own needs.

Your relationship with yourself and others

First think about how you treat yourself:

• What needs do you have during the day? In which situations do you tend to ignore them?

• What are your personal boundaries? Are there times in your schedule where you or someone else oversteps them? Then what happens to you?

  • A good sign for a boundary violations are forms of anger or sadness (conveying anger)

  • A boundary is not a line, but might be a wider area which you can explore. Life is not black or white, but different shades of gray. Some lines are thicker, some thinner.

• Who really matters to you? What are your own priorities? Do they align with the external forces?

• What would you like to have happen?

  • And is there anything else that needs to happen?

Exercise: Your five most important relationships

Take a moment and stretch out your hand. Now think of the five persons that are most important to you. Put each one on one finger.

Whom did you choose?

Notice: Did you choose yourself first? If you did not, you are not alone. My initial thought was “Can I really put myself first?” and then concluded “Yes, absolutely!”. That is why I wanted to share this with you:

YOU should be your first priority. Think of the airplane safety instructions: First put on your own oxygen mask. Only this way you can have the capacity to help others by putting on theirs.

This might seem selfish at first glance, but it is rather a necessary precondition.

Reflect on this using these Clean questions:

1. When you prioritize yourself just the way you would like, that is like what? Write down the [answer 1].

   1. And what do you see or hear?

2. When you are like [answer], then you are like what? Write down the [answer 2].

   • And what do you see or hear?

3. And what needs to happen for things to be like [answer 1] and for you to be like [answer 2]?

   • And is there anything else that needs to happen?

These Clean Language questions help you to discover the answers that are true for yourself, to find tangible metaphors for your inner world and to surface their connections from your unconciousness.

Let me show you how this works with a real example:

Question 1: When you prioritize yourself just the way you would like, that is like what?

Answer 1: “It’s like having a full water pitcher that I can pour from without worry. I feel calm and grounded, knowing I have enough for myself first.”

Question 1a: And what do you see, hear?

Answer: “I see myself taking a morning walk without guilt. I hear myself saying ‘I need some time’ without apologizing. My voice is steady and clear.”

Question 2: When you are like [a full water pitcher that you can pour from], then you are like what?

Answer 2: “I’m like a tree with deep roots. Strong, stable, and able to weather storms. I can provide shade for others without losing my own ground.”

Question 2a: And what do you see or hear?

Answer: “I see myself standing tall with my shoulders back. I hear myself speaking kindly but firmly when setting boundaries. There’s no anxiety in my chest anymore.”

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Question 3: And what needs to happen for things to be like [a full water pitcher] and for you to be like [a tree with deep roots]?

Answer: “I need to:

• Schedule ‘me-time’ in my calendar as non-negotiable appointments

• Practice saying ‘let me check my energy first’ before accepting invitations

• Stop feeling guilty when I choose rest over productivity

• Trust that taking care of myself doesn’t make me selfish”

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Question 4: And is there anything else that needs to happen?

Answer: “Yes - I need to remind myself daily that I matter. Maybe a note on my mirror: ‘Your needs are valid.’ And I need to celebrate small wins, like the first time I cancel something without over-explaining.”

Set healthy boundaries by saying NO

Have you ever considered cancelling an appointment with a friend or colleague?

For me it was a bit difficult at first, because we had this agreement. I was afraid of saying no because of the potentially negative reaction that could follow, so I just endured it. Instead of speaking up for myself, expressing my needs and boundaries, I just mostly endured it - which is not great for everyone.

However there is always room to negotiate when one person reaches their personal boundaries or has other needs in that very moment. It is absolutely okay for any of us to first communicate and then negotiate.

That is why in my interhuman relationships I deeply value the following message:

Hi there,

I was really looking forward to our activity. Unfortunately I need to cancel as I noticed that I do not have the energy right now for our appointment and I need the remainder to make it through the rest of the day.

Therefore I would like to cancel/postpone to another day where I can be really present with you. Can we maybe find another day in the near future? Looking forward to meeting you again!

Thanks a lot for your empathy!

It becomes clear that this is not about the other person (like in “I don’t want to spend time with you”), but about oneself and personal needs. Also it is about still valuing the relationship and finding a better time to connect.

The results are really astonishing. A friend of mine cancelled with “Sorry I do not have the energy / just do not feel like that right now” and it was absolutely fine. In fact I was very enthusiastic that in our friendship it is absolutely okay to cancel for personal reasons — without drama or rejecting the other side as a person. Effectively this strengthened our friendship and lead to a more open communication.

Finally stay true to yourself and do not give in.

Declutter your calendar with the 🔴🟡🟢 Traffic Light method

Now we discussed the necessary preconditions to regain control of your calendar:

• In putting yourself and your self-relationship first (your own oxygen mask),

• fostering introspection and awareness for your wants, needs and boundaries in each moment,

• and finally saying NO without rejecting the other person

The problem is that the duration of an entry in your calendar really says nothing about how exhausting / draining it can be.

For instance, a short 30 minute meeting with several people can be very draining, while a 1 hour walk in the park is quite relaxing.

When trying to figure that out, I came up with a simple solution to make energy consumption visible in my calendar:

Use 🔴🟡🟢 traffic light emojis in appointment titles

Rating appointments

What I came up with was a scoring system that roughly categorizes appointments into

• 🔴 Red (3 points): High energy consumption (e.g., important meetings, creative work, difficult conversations)

• 🟡 Yellow (2 points): Medium energy consumption (e.g., routine meetings, administrative tasks, going to the gym)

• 🟢 Green (1 point): Low energy consumption or relaxation (e.g., short check-ins, breaks, relaxed appointments, going for a small walk)

A possible extension could be 🔵 blue appointments, as blue is the new green:

• 🔵 Blue (0 points): Plain recharge and effortless self-care (e.g., meditation at home in your prepared corner, cuddling, breathing exercises, …)

Mind that these examples are pretty individual. An activity can be draining for one person while being regenerative for another.

Planning rules for a day

Now I just need to setup some rules for myself to plan the appointments in my calendar, like “No two red appointments at the same day”. Effectively I came up with the following:

• Goal: No more than 4 points per day

• Emergency limit: 6 Points (accounting for enough recovery in the following day(s))

• Flexibility: It is okay to cancel or postpone appointments if I do not have the energy

• Buffer time: Leave some buffer time between appointments for unexpected tasks/situations and for recreational activities.

This leads to the following combinations (not exhaustive, but you get the idea):

• 1-2 Points: 🟢🟢 or 🟡 – ✅ Optimal: Relaxed day, room for the unexpected

• 3-4 Points: 🔴🟢, 🟡🟡, 🟡🟢 or 3-4 🟢) – ✅ Good and manageable: Normal workload

• 5 Points 🔴🟡 or 🟡🟡🟢 – ⚠️ Borderline: Only on good days

• 6+ Points 🔴🔴 or 🔴🟡🟡 – 🚑 Emergency: Emergency limit - reschedule appointments!

To give you a few examples what I use:

• 🔴 Therapy, Business Coaching (as coachee), shopping groceries in a large wholesale supermarket

• 🟡 Choir singing (recreational, feeling better afterwards, but also long and exhaustive), social time with friends, Clean Language Sessions (lots of fun, but there is no free lunch), Gym time

• 🟢 Zen Meditation, taking a walk

A key thought here is that even if an activity is recreational by itself, some mental effort might be required for planning, preparation and getting there.

How would you categorize some of your appointments? Feel free to share in the comments!

Factor in your personal body battery

There is still one missing question:

How do I know how much energy I have left?

For that I found out that the “Body Battery” feature of my Garmin Smartwatch delivers pretty accurate results that help me plan my day. Basically it measures the stress level and activity during the day based on metrics like pulse and heart rate variability (HRV). Its scale goes from 0 - 100 %.

• 20 or lower: Getting tired

• 15 is “time to shut down, relax and go to sleep”

• 5 is absolutely drained, it does not get any lower than that

So if I did not sleep well and my body battery is already low at the beginning of the day, I just arrange my day around it.

It might also appear that even if my body battery is high, mental exhaustion can strike — time for some short recovery like a power nap!

Manage your Sleep

Apropos napping, it is a good idea to track and manage your sleep as well to give your body some time to recharge. Here are some tips from personal experience:

• Set an alarm to go to bed at the same time consistently. Mine is set to 10 pm and I am already getting tired early

• Leave your phone in another room or out of reach. This is pretty hard, even for me, especially when I have difficulties falling asleep

• Set an alarm to wake up at the same time, accounting for enough sleep

• Resistant to several alarms? These are my favorite tips:

  • I put a NFC sticker into my bathroom that I need to tap with my phone to turn off the alarm

  • Use a smart light to wake you up gently by a simulated sunrise — I hate to wake up already being angry at the annoying alarm in the morning.

  • On the first sound, put your feet out of bed.

  • Make your bed. This way there is less temptation to return to it, as you just made it look neat.

• Be gentle with yourself: If you really need to rest because you slept poorly, go back to bed and allow your body to recover.

Wrapping things up

Managing your energy instead of your time builds the foundation for protecting your physical and mental capacity, to show up fully for what truly matters right now.

Now it is time for the TL;DR:

• Regain your agency

• Foster self-awareness and healthy boundaries

• Put the relationship with yourself first and foremost

• Declutter your calendar and lower your workload by politely saying NO

• Use traffic light emojis (or colored categories) in your appointment titles

• Watch your remaining energy and cancel anything that is unimportant or too draining for the day

• Manage your sleep

These concepts and methods helped me to stay on top even in stressful times. Start small by

• saying NO in an easy situation

• adding a traffic light to one appointment only

• setting your alarm clock to a consistent time

Then work your way gradually towards mastery. Keep in mind that failure is okay and you can still do better next time.

Thank you for staying with me until the end! I put quite some effort into writing this article. Feel free to leave a comment and I will make sure to reply within a few days!

Your turn: What advice would you give to yourself that I should add to this article?

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